Choose Your Choice

"How does this work?" he asked.

"You choose your choice," she replied.

This week my brother graduated from college. It was one of the proudest moments I have ever experienced as a person with another person. I sat there watching, feeling all the feelings, so honored I get to be his sister, so grateful I get to be a part of his journey.

My brother is a writer. I would argue that he has always been a writer. And his writing is good. Really good.

So he goes off into the world, degree in one hand, his youth in the other, but then what? What's next, right? (I'm sure no one will think to ask him that question.)

This is where I see people get stuck, at the intersection of transition and life. What is next can feel like an impossible question to answer. Knowing the right move, what will make you happy, what you can handle- these are almost impossible things to know before committing to any path. Because of that, this is where we see people get paralyzed, and not even paralyzed by possibly making the wrong choices, but by the prospect of making a choice at all. Because sometimes making no choice at all can feel safer than making the any choice. 

So, to my brother, I say: Choose your choice.

Don't always worry about choosing perfectly, choosing right, or choosing forever. Just choose your choice and don't look back. There will be millions of choices to choose from throughout your life, but true satisfaction of the heart comes from knowing you can be dedicated wholly to the choices you make. 

Don't look back. The world is yours.

 

Destroying the Box

"Please honestly tell me what you think," she pleaded.  

"I think you need to let this go," she answered, a truth told not just in her words, but also in her eyes. 

I am not a fan of quitting. I am also not a huge fan of compromising. So, I often find myself in a crisis of the heart when I am tied to something I no longer find valuable. 

Instead, I would rather redefine the limits. I would rather think and dream and rework current structures to better fit current needs. This isn't easy work. It's safe to just quit, and many times it is easier. But I usually don't like that option. 

When we break out of the box, when we look beyond the edges of what is known and safe, that is where transformation takes place. It takes brave and courageous steps towards unknown areas of thinking. It requires stamina and willpower and vision. It demands walking through fear.

Destroying the box that the status quo and comfortable patterns live in is not for the faint of heart.

This Hive Shall Thrive

 "What are you thinking?" she asked.

"I think you are so much stronger than him," she sighed.

Bees from the same hive visit about 225,000 flowers per day. One single bee visits between 50 to 1000 flowers a day, but some visit up to several thousand. During honey production periods, a bee's lifespan is about six weeks and they travel a distance equal to 4 times around the earth before they die.*

So in less than two months, these guys are born and die experiencing a far greater quantity of travel and beauty than most human beings ever will. Not to mention they are producing honey by the pound in a colony that can only function with the most incredible dedication and cohesive teamwork involving all members. That's a pretty impressive life. 

But if the hive doesn't function cohesively, production falls and the bees die. Just like that, they cannot survive in a hive that doesn't thrive.  

That may be the biggest difference between humans and bees. We stick out a situation, a relationship, a job, or a life decision that doesn't nurture us because we can survive in a dysfunctional colony.  

When we decide to do this we will miss a lot more flowers. We won't travel as far. We aren't as productive and we don't participate fully in building something bigger than ourselves. And our lifespans are way longer than six weeks, so we could have a long life of striving for survival. 

But a life of survival is based on instincts only. It is void of emotions. That kind of life, by definition, means to just purely exist. A beating heart. Breathing lungs. Moving limbs. Existence is a state of living, not a way to build a life.

Bees don't just exist together in a colony and hope that will be enough. They go out and get to work. They travel, pollinate, work, produce, sweat (true), sleep, and they don't give up. 

And then they dance (no seriously, that is how they communicate with one another). 

You can keep surviving if you want a safe and flat existence. I'll take thriving- I'm not interested in anything less.

 

(*Thanks to the The Beehive for dropping this knowledge on me in the process writing this post)

Traveling Forward

"Where are we going?" she asked.

There was only silence.

Getting lost is something I got used to a long time ago.

I have a horrible sense of direction. I mean, it is just awful, especially when I am traveling. When I am away and have to navigate around a new town I get extremely anxious. I make crazy directional decisions and feel overwhelmed and flustered immediately upon getting behind the wheel. If someone is in the car with me- forget it, I'm even worse.

Last February, I purchased a small compass with the purpose of giving it as a gift. For a number of reasons, the compass sat in the box and never made it out of my possession.

Last April, I moved to Baltimore City. I have worked in the city for years and grew up outside the city lines, so I had spent the majority of my adult life traveling in and out of the city. But when I moved, I suddenly had a terrible fear of getting lost. Where before I could easily recalculate and calmly find my way, now it was hard to breathe and extremely frustrating when I got turned around on streets in my own neighborhood. 

I began to do a lot of walking. Shortly after moving, I unpacked this compass and took it out of the box. It was beautiful. Small, brass and black, with a very small clip. I attached it to my keys. 

I decided that even if I was lost I wanted to know what direction I was going.

That's the funny thing about a compass. It's not there to give you directions or even to navigate you in any particular direction. It simply tells you which way you are going. I found this non-judgemental directional tool comforting and would rub my fingers along the letters USA engraved on the back as I walked.

I learned, slowly, that it was fine to not know the exact path and to get mixed up along the way. That tiny compass taught me the value forward direction, even when the destination was fuzzy and unclear. That tiny compass helped me to not stand still. Moving forward always meant moving towards something, even if it wasn't what I originally wanted or planned.

Forward, it seems, is the best direction in which to travel.

 

(h/t to Best Made Co. for making awesome products that inspire journeying)

 

Let's Rise

We never know how high we are

Till we are called to rise...

-Emily Dickinson

Every once in awhile an opportunity comes along that seems too good to pass up. Those moments when you leap with excitement because you know that what is laid out might be bigger than you. More often than that, though, are the opportunities that fall into our laps while we are completely and unexpectedly living our life. Those moments when we say yes to something having no way of knowing how it will pan out to be.

Last year, Meredith Chase-Mitchell, a teacher from DC, contacted me about writing an essay about my experience as a teacher. I had never met Meredith and I was unfamiliar with her work. As with most opportunities that cross my path, I happily agreed to write for her project. The topics to write about were broad and I thought it would be a good way to take a larger risk in exposing my writing to a different audience.

I had no way of knowing that writing this piece would cradle my heart and lay the foundation for my participation in something wonderful.

Meredith and her colleague Doran Gersham have taken me, and 24 other female educators, on an empowering and exciting ride. Through their vision and passion, they have complied the voices of educators from around the country to create a beautiful and compelling narrative about what it means to be a teacher. 

What makes this project different is the full scope of those narratives. As a passionate enthusiast of all things soulful, and of the stories that stream from this place of our hearts, Meredith and Doran have dreamed up something different. Not just a book, not just our writing, not just essays published for reading. Oh no, this is different. They have honored not just the stories, and not just the voices, but the people and the hearts that tell these tales. 

In a show and tell of artistic proportions, Why the SUN Rises, displays portraits of each teacher alongside their story. Our voices, our faces, our stories. This book weaves together the threads of each educator, creating a landscape of passion, love, heartbreak, and fortitude. 

As a lover of collaborative works, I am honored to open this book and sit alongside so many stunning women educators. This project is but one small example in my life of what happens when you risk big, say yes, and jump into the unknown.

If you are interested in a copy of this book, simply click HERE. Thank you for helping me celebrate the voices of these educators and the tireless work they do each day.

Keep Rising.